Those of us who live comfortable, affluent lives can become addicted to safety, certainty, happiness and constant personal improvement - perhaps more than to other ‘quick fixes’. When we think about weakness, confusion or hardship, we view them as problems to be solved. This reflection invites us, instead, to accept the mess and uncertainty, and walk free of our addiction to perfection.

You might feel some profound discomfort reading the stories recommended from the bible for today.

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In the rule-filled Hebrew book of Numbers, Chapter 12, what reads like a culturally-justifiable challenge to an authority figure results in Miriam - but not her brother Aaron, who issued the challenge by her side - being disfigured and cast out of her community.

The sacred song Psalm 51 is a cry for mercy from David, hero of the Jewish and Christian faiths, after he is made to face up to the facts he stole a good man’s wife and then organised for him to be killed.

In the Gospel According to Matthew, Chapter 14, the Apostle Peter’s faith seems to fail him, he sinks into the sea, is rescued and then chastised by Jesus for his doubts.

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Before you try to analyse the meanings of these stories, try to sit with your emotional responses to them.

We might approach them in various ways. Often, interpretations are attempts to ‘smooth’ them over. We want to wrap our minds around some justification for Miriam’s skin disease; some understanding of how David could have behaved so badly; some coherent explanation of the ‘mistake’ Peter made that merits such humiliation.

We might choose instead to scoff at these and other strange tales, using them as justification for our views about the ridiculousness of faith and religious belief. How can anyone base real-life decisions on these harsh, challenging and incomprehensible events? The answers lie elsewhere!

Or, we might simply cave in under the weight of them, full of our own sense of inadequacy, guilt, fallibility and doubt - those things we Christians call ‘sin’.

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Do any of these approaches fit with your own?

Pete Rollins discussed the root of the word ‘Sin’. He describes it as a sense of something missing or lacking, which drives us to act in a panic in order to fill the gap at the heart of ourselves.

In Eden, Adam and Eve felt they lacked something and so ate the fruit. David took Bathsheba because when he looked at her, he perceived a gap in his life that needed filling. When things go wrong, our self-esteem takes a blow or we are jealous of someone else, we feel a panic and can incline towards despair or towards finding a ‘filler’ for the hole in our heart: who or what can we scapegoat; how can we improve our situation; what can we exorcise from our lives to put it right and feel whole again?

Then, Rollins argues, God becomes just an idol or a ‘solution’ to our problems. The ‘fix’ of our addiction, to make us feel better for a while.

What do you feel about this?

Does it help you to consider that life might always feel incomplete? To try to accept the situation as it is? Do you agree with Pete, that discomfort is sometimes a fitter dwelling place for us than the endless pursuit of comfort? Is there a difference between Mercy and the eradication of discomfort?

If you are interested, Pete talks a bit more about these ideas in this promotional video for his book, The Idolatry of God.

You may also find Nan C. Merrill’s version of Psalm 51 to be a helpful prayer at this time.