Transitions and goodbyes are unsettling and at times very painful. We need to allow ourselves to process feelings and shocks contained in endings - but not let those harden our hearts or affect our ability to trust people and the Universe moving forward. A short paragraph in the New Testament, in which Jesus bids his friends farewell, is revealing.
In the 16th Chapter of the Gospel according to John, Jesus is about to leave his friends. He says:
“But now I am going to him who sent me; none of you asks me, “Where are you going?” but because I have said these things to you, sorrow has filled your hearts.
Nevertheless, I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I go away, for if I do not go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send him to you. And when he comes, the Advocate will prove the world wrong about sin and righteousness and judgement:
about sin, because they do not believe in me; about righteousness, because I am going to the Father and you will see me no longer; about judgement, because the ruler of this world has been condemned.”
We can, perhaps, imagine the disciples’ confusion and sadness. Their beloved friend and teacher has said he is leaving them. Have you been in a relationship where the other person pulled away unexpectedly or before you were ready to lose them? Perhaps it was heart-breaking; perhaps you felt confused and blamed them, yourself or someone else. It is not only the goodbye that hurts; it is the lost future in that person’s company.
Jesus faces imminent death. Not only does he notice his friends’ sorrow …. he must be quite overwhelmed by his own. And yet …. he can trust and remind others of a bigger context. There is a destination - a Where - a Good Place beyond the pain. He points out that his disciples might show some interest in that!
The ‘Advocate’ spoken of is a Holy Spirit that miraculously empowers the new Christians after Jesus’ death, resurrection and final departure. It is a mysterious concept to grasp!
Perhaps the point here is hope; yes, something is ending tragically. But whatever desperation we feel in our deepest sadness ….. endings can also be beginnings. In a universe of energy and abundance, nothing is simply lost; spaces open up for new growth. Jesus’ very confidence in this is wonder-full and hope-full.
Sin, Righteousness and Judgement are big words. It is not easy to see Jesus’ meaning. He continues to encourage his friends to see the bigger picture, beyond the sorrow.
The new season ushered in by the Advocate might be characterised by more choices made every day to believe in death-defying goodness; more choices made to hope in a context and a trustworthy relationship that is bigger than the deaths, sufferings and goodbyes of the present; more choices made to assume the destructive powers at work in the world will not win out in the end.
If you wish, allow yourself some time to feel sorrow about an ending you face or have faced. And, when you are ready, offer that ending up to God, or to the Divine or the Universe in a spirit of hopefulness. You may like to reflect on Mary Oliver’s the Uses of Sorrow:
The Uses of Sorrow | Mary Oliver
(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)
Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.